sorry for the grievous delay in updating this blog, i am really sorry, not just saying that...i have had stuff to report...moves, surgeries (well, singular surgery)...but just haven't taken the time to do it. i could beg off on one week, i guess, having been hospitalized for six days myself in february, but hey...this blog isn't about me!
but it is about how chuck is doing, so here it is!
he is currently back at
medical center of plano, where dr. sanders, the orthopedic trauma surgeon, just did another surgery on his pelvis. it went well, and he didn't have to install any plates, which he thought he may need to. the ultimate goal is a total hip replacement, which he feels he will be able to do in about two weeks, maybe three. in the meantime, the hope is that he will go back to
remington, which is where he was before this surgery. then, finally, back to the hospital for the hip replacement, and ultimately back to remington for rehab until he can go home.
did you get all of that? do you have whiplash? yeah, i feel ya.
emotionally and mentally (and dad, i know you will read this, so i will be gentle), i think that my dad is experiencing a kind of institutionalization. in the mental health field, we usually use this term to describe a person who has been in an institution (prison, hospital, whatever...i will extend it to the military as well, and will argue happily...albeit elsewhere...with anyone that takes exception to that) for
so long that when they are back in "the free world" they have problems functioning in it, since the structure and rules of wherever they have been have sort of become internalized, and no longer facilitate appropriate social behavior. now, my dad hasn't been discharged or released, as it were, as we all know. but he has been in an inpatient facility for
so long (over three months now) that his perception of reality has been affected by it. in my simplest opinion, he has (understandably) lost some of the perspective that he needs to regulate his thoughts...he has forgotten (given up on? not been able to connect to the feeling of? not sure exactly...) that there is a life for him
outside of his life in that goddamned bed. i hope i am making sense...he is oriented, he isn't confused like he was a month or two ago...but he is overly focused on the grind of his daily life (getting an IV, being woken up when the staff need to wake him vs. when he wants to wake up, ordering all his food from a one page menu, etc, etc) and it isn't healthy. he is (sorry to use another clinical term) capitulating to his injury/illness. in the psychology of rehabilitation, this trait tends to be one of the least successful in regards to prognosis. so, i am worried about him. yes, i am worried about
you, dad. you need to draw down deep and fight, not lay in bed and yell at nurses for hurting you when they need to change your IV. i understand your frustration, and i am trying here to help others understand it too, so that they can support you in meaningful ways. ok? ok.
so in a rather large nutshell, when you go visit, or call, or send cards, or whatever...don't let him complain to you about the food. tell him if he wants better food to
get busy and be aggressive with his therapies and get home. home is where the rest and good food and comfort are. he isn't (you aren't) supposed to be comfortable now, he (you) are supposed to be rehabilitating. he (you) can rest and recover when you get home, dad. but you aren't going to get there until you focus on the goal, dig down, and fight like the strong, determined person we all know you are, and need to be now.
i love you, and want you out of bed, out of hospitals, rehabs and most of all, nursing homes. i want you home. but you need to fight to get there. it is going to hurt,
it is supposed to hurt, but it will be worth it. i also love everybody that comes to see you and calls you for helping you get through this. if you are one of those people, thank you from the bottom of our hearts. our family is grateful to you.
if you want to visit, that is great. i would call first so you don't miss him or interrupt therapy, he has his phone there. you can also send him email through the hospital website, which they deliver daily. or you can facebook, or text me. as usual, best to leave mom alone, she is up to her eyeballs. i PROMISE to update this as soon as he moves again. please don't stop sending cards, etc...or calling. you can always mail cards to the home address, mom will bring the mail to him...text me if you want that address.
thanks again from all of us. :)
namaste...
christene xoxoxox
